The Great Illusion

HE DIED ON OUR FRONT LAWN.

The twelve-year-old boy was tossing a football moments earlier and lying on our grass in the space of a few blinks.

The event happened years ago, and carries a lot more details, but the truth is, the child suffered an aneurysm in front of our house, and nothing we did, nothing the neighbors did, nothing the fire department did, not even our prayers could save his life.

THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I REALIZED THAT I WAS NOT IN CONTROL. 

You see, I used to believe that I could keep my people safe if I just prayed for their safety. As if God was at my beck and call and would just say yes because I asked.

I HAD A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT GOD.

STILL DO.

I wish I could say that I learned to release all control for all time in that moment, but when you try to control your life out of fear…well, you don’t give that up so easily.

I grew up with a lot of fears. How I came to that way of thinking would take too long to explain, but I also learned to make peace with fear through prayer. But the thing is, I used to pray in such a way that I was really trying to make God do what I asked.

HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT? IT’S WAY TOO EASY AND I DON’T THINK WE EVEN REALIZE WE ARE DOING IT.

WHEN WE PRAY, PHYSICAL POSTURE ISN’T ALL THAT IMPORTANT. BUT THE POSTURE OF OUR HEARTS IS. DO WE PRAY WITH OPEN HANDS? DO WE OFFER OUR PRAYERS IN HUMILITY, RECOGNIZING THAT GOD AND ONLY GOD IS THE ONE IN CONTROL? BECAUSE IF WE THINK WE CAN GET HIM TO DO WHAT WE ASK, WE ARE KIND OF SWITCHING PLACES WITH HIM, AREN’T WE?

HE DOESN’T OBEY US. WE OBEY HIM.

So when we refuse to pray with the attitude of, “Your will be done” as Jesus taught us to pray, then we risk God saying, “All right then, have it your way.” And while that might sound good, it’s really not.

The control we think we have is an illusion. A deception. Ever wonder why you get disillusioned? Because what you thought was in your control was an illusion. It never was. It never will be.

I know many people who could wear the label control freak. (Raising my hand here.) We recognize them, though sometimes we don’t see the truth in ourselves. But we could ask ourselves a few questions to see if we might have this tendency:

1. Do I grow impatient when people don’t respond in the time I want them to?
2. Do I get upset when people don’t comply with my wishes or want to do it their way?
3. Do I try to take control of my circumstances in order to change them?
4. Do I try to change other people to be what I want them to be?
5. Do I push people away who don’t think, act, look, believe, like I do?
6. Do I yell at traffic (or anything else) to move faster because I’m always in a hurry and it’s all about me?
7. Do I try to manipulate people or circumstances to fit my plans, schedules, desires?

Whether we are someone in authority or hold the lowest job in the community–or perhaps we have no job–even children can exhibit control tendencies. We coerce, cajole, plead with, beg, whine, complain, and if none of that works with our human counterparts, we might try to get God to do our bidding.

Can I hear a yes? That’s me?

THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEGGING GOD FOR FAVOR AND MERCY TO ANSWER A HEART-FELT PRAYER AND PRAYING THAT HE WILL CHANGE A SITUATION BECAUSE WE DON’T LIKE IT.

WHEN WE ARE OUT OF OPTIONS AND WE FINALLY TURN TO PRAYER, WE CAN’T SEE GOD AS JUST ANOTHER MEANS OF GETTING OUR WAY. BUT I SUSPECT MOST OF US WOULD LIKE TO. 

The problem is, we are human and most of us are living in a situation of some sort that we don’t like. It could be our job, our house, our mate, our kids, our parents, our church, our neighborhood, our school, our friends. The list of situations is endless when it involves anyone other than ourselves. 

THE THING IS? THE ONLY PERSON I CAN CONTROL IS ME.

I MIGHT WANT TO CONTROL YOU OR WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU OR WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO DO, BUT THAT’S NOT MINE TO CONTROL. IT WAS NEVER MINE TO CONTROL.

Parents suffer this illusion when their children are small. They are in control of their child in every way from the moment of birth. But that child grows up and enters adulthood and that’s the point when control ends. (It actually ends a lot sooner, but we deceive ourselves into thinking it doesn’t.)

And we end up longing for a life we no longer have or we try to control what we used to enjoy and want back, instead of letting God handle it all. God is the only One with His finger on the control button…He’s the One who chooses far more than we want to admit. He allows us to go through things in life we don’t like.

AND HE WAITS FOR US TO COME TO HIM AND ASK FOR HELP. BUT HE DOESN’T WANT US TO COME TO HIM WITH OUR LIST OF WAYS FOR HIM TO FIX WHAT WE DON’T LIKE. HE JUST WANTS US TO COME, TAKE HIS YOKE UPON US, LEARN FROM HIM, REST IN HIS ARMS, AND TRUST HIM TO HANDLE EVERYTHING THAT IS OUT OF OUR CONTROL–WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE WORLD.

Too often, unfortunately, we settle for the great illusion that we can control things. We can fix them. We will rise up and make it better. We, we, we turns into me, me, me. Instead of He, He, He, alone can do what we cannot.

I wish I had learned this more fully the day that boy died on our front lawn.

I wish I fully grasped it even now.

But I am a work-in-progress. Like writing a book, our lives are stories to be written.

WHEN I WRITE, I HATE FIRST DRAFTS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? OUR LIFE…ALL WE GET IS A FIRST DRAFT. THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS, ONLY MAKE-OVERS.

Illusions don’t have to turn into disillusions.

THEY CAN TURN INTO GRACE-GIVING TRUTH AND FAITH IN THE ONE WHO IS NEVER AN ILLUSION. THE ONE WHO IS TRUE AND WHO’S GOT YOUR MESS AND MINE FULLY IN HIS CONTROL.

He simply asks us to come to Him and trust Him.

~Selah

#livegrace #lovetruth #illusions #needtocontrol #controlfreak #trustnotfear #truthhim