Our Tiger – My Writing Buddy

We knew this time would come. And it is coming. Not today. But perhaps tomorrow or this week or next. But it’s coming soon. And we are already grieving what is to be.

Tiger came into our lives in 2004 as our Christmas kitten, who quickly claimed the tree skirt as his place to sit. Shadow wasn’t thrilled with this new addition to the family, but over time, even our feral Shadow allowed the “new kid” to sleep next to him in the chair or on the stair banister. They were pals until 2013 when Shadow left this earth.

Tiger enjoyed the role of “only” after he got used to Shadow’s passing, and we’ve doted on him and loved him immensely. How do I describe this amazing kitty? If you’ve followed me here or on social media, you know that he’s been my writing buddy, has tried to eat my page proofs, and has been there through every book I’ve written to date.

When I had cancer last year, a friend sent me a cancer shawl. Tiger claimed it as his blanket and has loved it ever since. When he was small and our sons were still at home, our oldest was his favorite person. He knew when his car drove up to the house after work and always greeted him at the door. When that son moved away, Tiger transferred his affection to Randy. I didn’t mind. He gives me plenty of love too.

But he’s so much more than a writing friend. He’s the most loving kitty. If we left him for too long and he acted perturbed, he quickly forgave us everything. He never holds a grudge, a lesson we could all learn from him, even when we forced him to move to a new home. He loves unconditionally, follows us like a puppy, snuggles on our laps for as long as we’ll let him or until he gets too warm.

Tiger is a people cat. He never met a stranger he didn’t like, and if you visit our home, he’ll find a way to climb onto your lap and sit a while. Tiger loves to chatter at birds and this morning he stood watching intently at the bunny who was eating our petunias. He’s spent countless hours watching squirrels and feral cats and birds in both places he’s lived. He loves visitors, human or otherwise.

I have so many memories and tons of pictures of him over the years. There is not just one thing that brings a smile, but here are a few.

When our middle son used to come home from college, Tiger would come racing into the kitchen to greet him. When we threw his tinsel ball from one room to the next, he retrieved it. (I’ve never known another cat to do that, but maybe they do.) He used to love to chase the light pen or play badminton from the couch with that tinsel ball. He had great reflexes.

When I would go up to bed to read and Randy stayed watching something on TV, Tiger would get on the floor with me, flop on his back and ask for a belly rub. It became our nightly routine until it became too hard for him to flop over.

Which is where we are now. We’ve known he’s had health issues for the past three or four years. The vet once told us that older cats usually have one of three problems: 1). digestive issues 2). kidney issues 3). hyperthyroidism. Tiger has all three.

The vet also thought that he might be part Bengal and Bengal cats typically only live to be 13 or 14 tops. Tiger would be 17 this November. But he is not going to reach that birthday.

When we moved to our new home, he lost half a pound. We took him to the vet, who was naturally concerned for that weight loss. She upped the steroid he was on, one of two medications we give him to keep him healthier and feeling good. He gained a few ounces after that, and we were hopeful. We even took a trip up north a few weeks ago thinking all was well.

But this past week, after we noticed he’d gained over a pound, which again, we thought was a good sign, we noticed he had a stuffy nose, and was having labored breathing. With cats it’s a little hard to tell, but by Sunday I could tell he was definitely not comfortable. So we took him in yesterday. We weren’t prepared for what they told us.

Tiger’s insides were filled with fluid, which was causing his breathing problems. So we had them drain the fluid and test for cancer. It wasn’t cancer, so she wanted to do a heart test and another blood test for his kidneys. But the bottom line is that all of those things would have been for us to have a little more time with him. Maybe a few months. At what cost to him?

The vet has told us the fluid buildup will return, and we can see that because he still has a runny nose, which indicates fluid inside of him. But we decided to bring him home and enjoy him for as long as God allows. He feels better today, like his normal self. Except for that telltale runny nose, he seems healthy, like he used to be.

But that’s how the fluid began. How long it will take to build up again…only God knows. Should we keep having it drained to extend his life? How does one tell whether a cat is suffering? That’s our biggest concern. To have the wisdom to know when he’s suffering and then, as a dear friend told us, “to send him on to heaven.”

We had hoped and prayed that God would one day just take him in his sleep without pain. But we can’t let him struggle for breath. Right now, he’s not struggling, and we are soaking up every moment that he wants to snuggle. But I’m always aware, wondering how long?

I’m sorry for the lengthy pre-obituary for him. I would love to find out I’ve been premature in listening to the doctor and she is wrong. But we’ve seen the signs of aging for a long time. Our first cat lived 21 years and Shadow 18. I’ve told Tiger he owes me more years. But I won’t hold him to that. He deserves to be at peace when that day comes too soon.

We would covet your prayers for us and for Tiger as we navigate these next few days and weeks, never knowing quite when. I have deadlines due in early August, and it is hard to concentrate to work on them when emotion hits us out of the blue.

Tiger is the best cat God ever made, in my opinion, despite my love for the first two. We’ve been extremely blessed to have had him in our life. We almost adopted a different one, but Tiger stole our hearts from the beginning. I’m so glad he did.

~Selah