Have you ever failed a test? Wish you didn’t have to take one? Didn’t study for it? Are sure you’re not prepared? I know, it sounds like I’m talking about school where I was that overachiever who studied like crazy well ahead of the exam. I remember geometry class where the teacher said we could either memorize the theorems or work out the equations. I memorized the theorems and aced the test, but if you asked me to figure out a geometry problem today, I couldn’t do it. We can all “seem” to pass a test and actually fail it.
Sometimes I think faith is like that geometry class. I mean, I know the answers. I’ve memorized the lines. I can quote chapter and verse. But when life gets tough? How well does my faith hold me? Do I cling to Jesus and trust Him? Or do I doubt His ability, His love, His goodness, and His promises?
I’ve been a Christian for a really long time. Count my age minus eight years old and you get the picture. But that doesn’t mean I’ve always been faithful to the faith I professed. I believe in God. I believe His promises are true and that He loves me and that He died for my sins, and that He is coming again, and one day I will be with Him forever. And that’s all good. But sometimes…sometimes…when life hits hard? I doubt.
True confessions here. One thing I really don’t like about myself? Is when things go dramatically wrong and I am really hurting inside, I want to blame God for what people do. That’s like one of my kids blaming me for what their friend said or did. How ridiculous is that? But I do it anyway.
Why? Because I know God is sovereign and in control of this world and He could change things. He could stop it or fix it or do something about it. But often He is silent. And I can’t see that He works incognito. Behind the scenes. Until one day He reveals what He’s been up to and it takes my breath away! So why don’t I just trust Him when I know that’s what He’s doing?
Because in my humanity, I want answers to faith questions now. I want to understand why. I get hurt and that hurt leads me to want someone or something to blame.
Jesus asked that question a lot when someone would come to Him for healing.
Most of the time they would say yes. Jesus either couldn’t or wouldn’t heal where faith was missing. Miracles depended on faith. Read the gospels and tell me if you disagree. He couldn’t or wouldn’t do many miracles because of their lack of faith.
But faith changed everything…“Because you believe, it will happen. Or because you believe, it has happened.”
Without faith it is impossible to please God because he who comes to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
So when I get discouraged and start doubting Him, am I hindering His work in my life? In the lives of others? I think so.
I get upset with myself for my own doubt. Why do I revert to doubt when I believe Him with all of my heart?
The other day as I was reading one of the prophets, God asked him,
“Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Jeremiah 32:37) In another place Isaiah says, “Listen! The Lord’s arm is not too weak to save you, nor is his ear too deaf to hear you call.” (Isaiah 59:1)
And in my heart I heard Him asking me the same question only modified a little, “Do you REALLY think that the enemy is stronger than I AM? Do you really think I can’t do this?”
Rather humbling to have God’s words come back to you like that. Sometimes we forget that there really is an enemy of our souls. And when we fight against him in prayer or on the front lines of trying to save or rescue what he has stolen, he fights back hard. And he doesn’t play fair. And we end up feeling beat up and defeated.
But God…those are two of the most powerful words I know. But God hears me when I’m feeling defeated. He knows when I can’t bear it anymore. He sees when I am wounded. And when I pick up His Word and read, He pours sweet peace over my soul.
And when He asks me again, “Do you really think I’m not strong enough to save, to fix this, to restore, to heal?” I know He is. And I can hold up that shield of faith with a thankful heart for what He is already doing behind the scenes.
I can rejoice in a God whom I cannot see with physical eyes, but whose work is as plain as day to those with eyes to see Him. And it’s in the little things where I pass first one faith test, then another and another. And someday when that faith is tested yet again, I won’t have the urge to blame someone. I will be able to turn to my God and say, “I know you can handle this. I know you are bigger and greater. I trust You even now.”
How about you? Has your faith been battered and your heart bruised in this sometimes discouraging, sometimes wonderful thing we call life?
If you know Jesus, truly know Him, your faith hasn’t failed. It might take a hit now and then, but it’s still there waiting for you to run to God instead of away from Him and let Him pour sweet peace over you. Let Him give you the strength to take up that shield. And trust that God is bigger and greater and stronger than anything you will ever face.
He is faith-worthy and proven. And He will help us pass every test.
Selah~
