This is my third attempt to write a blogpost in the past two weeks. It’s not that the first two weren’t good posts, just that I can’t post them yet. Maybe I never will. Writing is like that. I have entire books on my computer that have not been published. I wrote them many, many years ago and maybe someday I will resurrect them, but they are in different genres, so they don’t quite fit my brand. Plus, I’m too busy to edit them.
In the meantime, this past week I received edits for two different books, two different publishers on the same day! That’s never happened to me before, so it is definitely a challenge. The one for Revell is the page proofs for She Walked Before Us, which releases in September. I miss not having the actual paper pages I normally receive, but right now they’re doing things electronically because of COVID. Either way, it is still fun to see the pages formatted as they will be in the book.
The other edits came from Guideposts for the book I wrote for their Ordinary Women of the Bible series. The book is titled Her Source of Strength, Raya’s Story. The book is about Samson’s mother. I don’t yet have a cover for this one, and this is the first round of edits. I’m not quite used to this type of editing as I’ve always worked strictly with Revell, but it is interesting to see how different houses handle things in a different manner.
I have to admit something though – I am busy and life isn’t really that different for me than it normally is because I have always worked from home, but this shutdown stuff is getting to me. The first month wasn’t so bad. But when I heard another month got tacked on in my state with only some easing of restrictions, I find myself unexpectedly testy. I am fairly certain this is me overreacting, because sometimes I take my focus off the big picture. Even Christians can take their eyes off Jesus and feel like life is out of control. But then I remind myself, I know God’s got this. He’s not surprised if I have a meltdown or grow irritable for no obvious reason. We’re confined. We’re feeling controlled, and that messes with our thinking.
The truth is, we need to focus on right thinking.
Do I think there is more to this whole pandemic story than I understand? Yes. Do I think we are aware of the whole truth? Probably not. Too many sources with differing information. Too much frustration coming out of confinement and heartache over more than health or lives lost.
I’ve personally been touched by a number of negative outcomes surrounding this shutdown, and I suppose that’s what troubles me most. I want to help the hurting. I want to see restrictions lifted so people can be with lonely, hurting loved ones. I want jobs restored and the economy to pick up again. But of course, I can’t control any of this. And I remind myself, we’ve been here before.
Well, maybe not our generation. Even my mom, who is nearing 97 hasn’t faced some of these things in her lifetime, but in history they’ve happened and things far worse. God was there in history past and He is with us today. Trials of life will always come. Our lives are temporary here – and if we want to deny that – well, it’s not worth trying. They may be temporary but they are not without purpose. Even in confined spaces, God still works things for our good to those who love Him. God still loves the world. He has not abandoned us or left us to float adrift on a perilous sea.
He knows when this will end. He knows what we will learn from it. And He longs for us to call on Him during our time of need.
Last night I didn’t have such a clear view of this as the struggle was starting to get to me. Then I read a Psalm that said perfectly how I was feeling.
Psalm 88:8 says, “I am confined and cannot escape; my eyes are dim with grief.”
And I think that’s how we might all feel right now, don’t we? We grieve those who have lost their health or their lives, but we also grieve with those who have lost jobs or are struggling to stay sane. Since the mental health hotline has received an 891% increase in calls as of weeks ago, I know this type of fallout is real.
We need to keep our focus right if we’re going to combat the emotional toll it’s taking. This is not the end of the world, and God’s grace still stands. His will will be done on the earth.
As I read today in Isaiah, the Lord has written our names on the palm of His hand. His love is never failing and He is not deaf to our prayers and tears. But we need to keep coming to Him during times like this. I asked Him to search my heart for WHY I overreacted the way I did yesterday. And I realized it’s because of control. It brought up past reminders when I felt helpless, as I do now. I wonder if you feel the same?
When I fix my eyes on Jesus, even through work assignments and confining control of our actions, my attitude changes and I know His peace. Then I can better love those around me – even those who frustrate me. And I pray. Daily. For many, many people and for our leaders who are hopefully going to make the right decisions – even if I don’t always agree with them.
Remember – God’s got this. It’s temporary. As with every trial of life – this too shall pass.
~Selah
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